Comet on Sunday then the Midwest!!! The official release will be in July. You (our friends) can purchase a copy at a Gorillas' show now!!! Aren't we good to you? You know we are. You dirty little... Friday, May 3rd PRIVATE SHOW!!!  Leewood Country Club 1 Leewood Dr. Eastchester, NY 10709 Sun, May 5 @ 6PM The Blue Comet 106 S Easton Rd Glenside, PA 19038 Thu, May 9 @ 8PM The 21st Saloon 4727 S 96th St Omaha, NE 68127 May 10th @ 9PM Uncle Bo's 420 Southeast 6th Avenue Topeka, KS 66607 May 11th @ 8PM Knuckleheads Saloon 2715 Rochester Avenue Kansas City, MO 64120
Finally in Jersey again...Not these idiots!
 These idiots!!!  Friday, April 12th @ 9 pm Roxy & Dukes Roadhouse 745 Bound Brook Rd Dunellen, NJ 08812 732-529-4464 Saturday, April 13th @ 7 pm The second annual Summit Swing Dance Party! Summit Elks Lodge 40 Maple Street Summit, NJ Bringing the Spring to Virginia and Delaware... Passover has come and Easter will soon be here... And the Gas House Gorillas will be rockin' ass for Holy Week in Virginia and Delaware! These two places have not seen near enough of your Gorillas for quite some time. Don't just sit at home waiting for the angel of death. We will be having fun of a biblical proportion! Good Friday will now be GREAT Friday. And Saturday will be SPECTACULAR something or other...you get the picture. One final morsel to tempt the more cynical among you... The Easter Bunny will be with us...that's right the Easter Bunny...a.k.a...Eddie Everett....He IS the Easter Bunny...ssshhhhh! It's a secret, though I do think that the socks are a dead giveaway. Do I need to draw you a diagram, Lazarus? COME OUT, YA CRAZY BASTARDS!!! Friday, March 29th @ 9 pm Blue 5 312 2nd Street Southwest Roanoke, VA, 24011 Saturday, March 30th @ 9:30 pm Bethany Blues 18385 Coastal Highway Lewes, DE 19958 302-644-2500
We heard you missed us... So here we are! Let's see...what's new since the last time we saw you? ...um... Jim lost the last of his baby teeth! Yeah, he got a dollar from the tooth fairy. Of course that went right up his nose. The dollar I mean. Jim is strange... Oh! Eddie finally got out of jail. Yeah, he's okay. He just has to register with the local authorities when he moves. Snake got married! That was a few years ago, but... BIG NEWS! Crusher quit drinking!!! It lasted a day.... He seems to drink quite a bit more since he quit. Rick? Things haven't been the same since he found Jesus. Now he refuses to sing anything but Christian Contemporary Music with an uplifting message. Fortunately the Gas House Gorillas play nothing but!!! There was one last thing...let me see...um... THERE IS A NEW GHG ALBUM COMING YOUR WAY FROM LANARK RECORDS AND IT'S A KILLER!!! PUNK AMERICANA IS COMING! In the meantime: March 1st @ 9 pm Roxy & Dukes Roadhouse 745 Bound Brook Rd Dunellen, NJ 08812 732-529-4464 March 2nd @ 9 pm The Spanish Ballroom 7300 MacArthur Boulevard Glen Echo, MD 20812 March 3rd @ 6:00 pm The Blue Comet Glenside, PA March 7th @ 8 pm Court Street Grill 112 Court St Pomeroy, OH 45769 740-992-6524 March 8th @ 9 pm Liberty Tavern 50 S. Liberty Street, #104 Powell, Ohio 43065 March 9th @ 9 pm 411 Club 411 North Westnedge Avenue Kalamazoo, MI 49007 Help your Gorillas Restore the Shore!!!Let's show 'em what a Gorilla crowd looks like!
 Happy New Year!Ladies and Genitals, If any of our dear friends out there signed up for this newsletter a long time ago and you are just receiving your first one now... I will not lie to you... That's right, People. It takes a big man to admit responsibility, and I plan to do just that. Right here and now. You see...it was all Crusher's fault. He told me not to include you! I wanted to desperately! He wouldn't let me! Such a cruel heartless bastard! Imagine depriving one such as yourself the chance to connect with the greatest band on the face of the earth, the Gas House Gorillas! He is an evil monster!!! A vile contemptible ogre! Now, if you talk to him I'm sure he'll say something like, "Rick forgot to enter your info." Yeah right. Like I would ever do THAT. It's a lie!!! A loathsome fabrication from a desperate cretin with a Napoleon complex! Okay...I did forgot some of you. All of you actually. Shut up. Saturday, January 19th @ 6:00pm Brick Township High School 346 Chambers Bridge Road Brick, NJ 08723 Happy Mayan Apocalypse! We here at Gas House Gorillas have been rather troubled as of late. You see, Boys & Girls...we just happen to believe in a little thing called tradition. Yeah, that's right...he's going there. Rampant commercialism has tainted my beloved holiday with flashy images of a fat man in red pajamas and glowing plastic reindeer spewing their snow covered propaganda to a dumbed down constituancy, too dulled on Devil Dogs, cheese and grape soda to care. Free toys for all you say? Sounds like a little thing called Socialism to me. I'll purchase my own toys, thankyouverymuch. Every year the holiday season comes and goes and yours truly just keeps his mouth shut. "Don't make waves." I tell myself, "It's not that big a deal." Well it is to me! Where may one find true holiday spirit, Mr. Scrooge? Where must one go, for a return to the holiday cheer that once made this nation great? Can it be found at a parade? No, you numbskull. At a festive family gathering perhaps? Are you high? No, Tiny Tim...there is only one place to find the real meaning of the holiday. The Blue Comet... (wait for it) with THE GAS HOUSE GORILLAS!!! Word is that Santa will have a gift for you. It's a toys for tots drive, Virginia. So bring an unopened toy for a kid who needs one and stop being such a cranky-pants for once. Humbug. Sunday, December 23 6:00 pm The Blue Comet 106 S. Easton Rd. Glenside, PA  A Gorilla Tribute to Jimi... 70 years old today and still dead. Had he lived he'd have probably performed a medley with Christina Aguilera and Furgie at the Superbowl halftime show. They would have kicked it off with a gorgeous rendition of "Beautiful". Following with "Let Me Stand Next to your Fire", featuring the Foo Fighters and a rap that paid special tribute to all of our beloved "first responders" by 50 Cent. Of course, the big finish would have been “Tonight's Gonna Be a Good Night”. Jimi would have played a fiery solo over the pulsing synthetic groove of that last one. He would have been surrounded by painted up blonde girls wearing hot pants and go go boots. The girls would have danced over the top renditions of popular 60's steps that would have seemed quaint and adorable. There would be a giant peace sign above the stage right below the Budweiser logo. Jimi would conclude with the Star Spangled Banner and there would be not a dry eye in the house... (deep sigh) We miss ya, Jimi. You could have been Mickey Mouse. {:8())- A plea for mercy from a real turkey... "Well, folks...It's that time of year again. Time for yours truly to make for the fences. I must make a break for it before ending up a plucked remnant of my former self. A pitiful object. Dead and bloated. Stuffing in my butt. Tryptophan oozing from my stiff basted carcass. I have a family you know. Twelve little ones running around. Unaware that their dear old dad is about to become oven fodder. Hey...dad...fodder...kinda funny, no? I digress... Just remember, Miles Standish, when your fat stubby little fingers are reaching for that drumstick, that so called drumstick is not a drumstick at all...IT'S A LEG!!!! Yes...a leg. Stop the genocide. Eat a duck. Why a duck? Why not? Happy Thanksgiving, Folks." Sunday, November 25 6:00 pm ROCKABILLY SUNDAYS!!! The Blue Comet 106 S. Easton Rd. Glenside, PA A Corny Come On... (Read the following message out loud in the most annoyingly Caucasian affectation that you can muster. Some of you are already there. No really... Do it. It'll be fun.) Hey Cats n Kittens, This Saturday night you'd better put on your glad rags, grab your best gal or guy and hightail it down to the Swing Kat Swing Dance in Pottstown, Pa. Those way out hep hooligans from NYC the Gas House Gorillas will be swingin' like a rusty gate with the swinginest solid swingitude that ever swung for a bunch of shoe changing swingers! You dig? Awe, c'mon, Jack. Don't be such a square. It's gonna be a real gone mellow scene. Well alreet then, Gates! All you rugcutters are gonna dig the righteous swingadelia of the swingtatious... Ugh... My head hurts. Bring money. Buy a t-shirt and behave yourself, ya jerk. We love you... Well, some of you. {:8())- Saturday, November 17 9:00 pm Swing Kat's Ballroom on High 310 High St Pottstown, Pennsylvania 
|
||||||||||||||||||
|
||||||||||||||||||
